Kenny Lamm 

 

 

 

We will be having our Fall Fun Fest on Saturday, October 31^st from 6:00 p.m. to 8:00 p.m.  This fun filled night will include "Trunks of Treats", hayrides, games, inflatables and more! Children are welcome to dress up in costumes that are not scary.  This event is for children of all ages. We will be inviting children from NB Mills, the Hispanic Church, and our neighborhood to join us. 

 

We will be using this opportunity to give out tracts in hopes of spreading the gospel to the children and their families.  Our goal is to provide an alternative to the traditional celebration of Halloween as we reach out to families of our church and community. We can do that by providing a Christian environment that is safe and loving especially on this particular night of the year. 

 

 

WAYS YOU CAN HELP

 

Donate candy. You can place your donations in the white baskets found throughout the church buildings.

 

Donate your time:  Open the trunk of your car and pass out candy.

We also need help during the Fun Fest with games and inflatables. 

 

Please sign up on the bulletin board in the hallway leading to the Fellowship Hall and Education Building if you can help.

 

If there are other ways that you feel that you can help, please contact Karen Shea.  Thank you in advance for your participation and donations.  We are looking forward to seeing you there!

 

This week at Celebrate Recovery Ronnie Harmon will be teaching on the Seven Reasons People Get Stuck in Recovery.    At some point in our recovery, we need to stop for a moment and thank God as we look back over our progress and our growth.     Be sure to join us, Monday nights beginning at 6:30 p.m.

 

Celebrate Recovery can offer help for Codependency.  This plagues more women than men as a general rule. 

 

What is Codependency?  What is the Problem?

 

  A codependent person might think:

·        My good feelings about who I am stem from being loved by you and/or receiving approval from you 

·        Your struggle affects my serenity.  My mental attention focuses on solving your problems or relieving your pain

·        My mental attention is focused on pleasing or protecting you  

·        My self-esteem is bolstered by solving your problems or reliving your pain.

·        My own hobbies and interests are put aside for yours

·        Your clothing and personal appearance are dictated by my desires as I feel you are a reflection of me

·        I am not aware of how I feel;  I am aware of how you feel

·        I am not aware of what I want;   I ask only what you want

·        The dreams I have for my future are linked to you

·        My fear of rejection and fear of anger determines what I say or do

·        I use giving as a way of feeling safe in our relationship

·        My social circle diminishes as I involve myself with you

·        I put my values aside in order to connect with you

·        I value your opinion and way of doing things more than my own

·        The quality of my life is in direct relation to the quality of yours

 

On the surface, codependency may sound like "Christian living".  Codependents always put others first before taking care of themselves.  Aren't Christians supposed to do that?   Codependents give themselves away.   Codependents may even martyr themselves.   In the broadest sense, codependency can be defined as an addiction to people, behaviors or things.  Codependency is the fallacy of trying to control inferior feelings by controlling people, things and events on the outside.  To the codependent, control or the lack of it is central to every aspect of life.

 

As a codependent you:

 

·        Assume responsibility for others feelings and behaviors

·        Feel guilty about others feeling and behaviors

·        Have difficulty identifying what you are feeling

·        Have difficulty expressing feelings

·        Are afraid of your own anger yet sometimes erupt in rage

·        Worry about how others may respond to your feelings, opinions and behaviors

·        Have difficulty making decisions

·        Are afraid of being hurt and/or rejected by others

·        Minimize, alter or deny how you truly feel

·        Are very sensitive to how others are feeling and feel the same

·        Are afraid to express differing opinions or feelings

·        Value others opinions and feelings more than your own

·        Put other people's needs and desires before your own

·        Are embarrassed to received recognition,  praise or gifts

·        Judge everything you think, say or do harshly, as  "never good enough"

·        Are a perfectionist

·        Are extremely loyal and remain so  in harmful situations too long

·        Do not ask others to meet your needs or desires

·        Do not perceive yourself as lovable and worthwhile

·        Comprise your own values and integrity to avoid rejection or other's anger

 

The Solution

Jesus taught us the value of the individual.  He said we are to love others equal to ourselves, not more than ourselves.  The love of self forms the basis for loving others.    If you do not love yourself, how can you love others?   The differences between a life of service and codependency take several forms.  The Motivation differs. 

·        Does the individual give himself and his service freely or because he considers himself to be of no value? 

·        Does he act out of a need to be needed (which means he actually uses the other person to meet his own needs;   the "helpee" becomes an object to help the helper achieve his own goals.)  

·        Service is to be an active choice.  The person acts; The codependent Reacts.   Codependent behavior is addictive rather than balanced.  Addictions control the person instead of the person being in control of their own life.   In Celebrate Recovery:

·        Codependents learns to gain  self-worth through Jesus Christ

·        Christianity and God's Word, The Bible, teach that a person has worth simply because they were created by God

·        Self-worth is not based on the work you do or the service you perform

·        Service is to be an active choice.  Codependents learn to act rather than react

·        Codependents allow healthy Christian service to bring joy

·        Christian faith calls for balance living and taking care of yourself

·        Codependents learn to live balanced lives; taking responsibility for their own health and well being

·        Codependents learn how to set and hold healthy boundaries and to set limits for themselves, not allowing others to compromise those boundaries

·        Codependents learn to help others in appropriate ways by allowing others to act independently rather than making others dependent on them.

·        Codependents learn to be God-Directed and be free from compulsiveness knowing that God brings the ultimate results.

 

If you know someone that suffers from  Codependency, please invite them to CR at Front  Street, every Monday evening beginning at 6:30.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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